Time to get courageous
5 minute read
Men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them. This statistic makes me want to bang my head on my desk, throw my laptop out the window and scream ‘NOOOOO!’
I hate it.
It makes me mad.
It makes me sad.
Because I know it's right.
I am living, breathing proof of this statistic.
I have looked at hundreds of job descriptions, and immediately discounted myself from applying when I don’t meet all the criteria.
It's a slippery slope of self deprecation and I’ve had enough.
This is 2023 not 1963.
And we need to change this statistic, starting now.
Now is the time we believe in ourselves, to dig deep, take a chance, and perhaps discover something that we didn’t even know was possible.
As women, this is the hurdle we need to cross, we are criticised for being too emotional,
Yet it's ironic that we need to use these emotions to leverage our confidence and courage. That is what this post is about, heart, emotions, and courage. I doubt men are putting this much thought into it, they are just doing it – but I could be wrong!
What does it mean to be courageous? If you asked your younger self, what would they say? My mind leaps back to 15 year old Susie (think Avril Lavigne and unable to skateboard); who was terrified to go on rollercoasters.
Show me a Mary Poppins-esq carousel, and I’m there in a flash, naming the horse and shouting ‘tallyho!’ before you can stop me. But there was absolutely no way you could ever get me on an upside down, loop the loop, mega high scary ride.
I did try one once, the ‘Oblivion’ ride at Alton Towers. If you’re not a British millennial you may not have heard of it, but yes, it's as scary as it sounds. A 90 degree vertical drop, where you hang perilously in the air for 4 seconds before your 75 second nightmare ends. I had my eyes closed the entire time, every single bone in my body tensed, even my little pinky toe frozen in fear…They told me not to look down. I didn’t. But I didn’t feel very courageous either.
Yes I tried it, I ‘faced my fear’ but it didn’t feel good, I had just proved what I knew in my heart of hearts and at that moment I mainly just felt a little bit sick.
Did I feel more courageous when my friends asked me to go on the next vomit-inducing ride and I refused to be persuaded, finding a comfy spot to relax instead?
Possibly.
For courage, I have always known, and now learnt, is always linked to your heart. So much so that the word courage derives from the latin word ‘cor’ - literally meaning heart.
The word courage is derived from the latin word ‘cor’ - literally meaning heart. It is different from bravery.
It is different from bravery (a word whose origin is ambiguous). Bravery equals brains. We use our minds to logically work through a situation or challenge, we put on an armour of bravery, our intention is ‘not to show fear in difficult or dangerous situations’. We cover up our worries and anxieties, disguising our vulnerabilities. In contrast, courage encourages us to open up about our fears and vulnerabilities, to accept them, recognise them, and wear them with pride.
Not that I’m knocking bravery. It's a good one too. There is a time and a place when it is very much needed.
It is why when making decisions, I spend a lot of time reflecting and not just thinking but feeling. My brain usually leads, analysing the pro’s and con’s, putting things into boxes, balancing out the risks. That's the bravery bit. And then I try to navigate myself into the feelings. How does it feel in my heart, deep deep down in that real strong place that is irreplaceably full of you.
That is where courage comes from. It means heart decisions (yes, the hard decisions too).
That is where the fears and the strength, and the wonderful bits of you are stored, and are ready to empower you to be the best you can be, they want to be released!
As women, we are constantly bombarded by the rhetoric of being perfect, so if we don’t perfectly match the job description – then how could we possibly apply to something and break society’s standards and expectations? Breaking these standards/defying patriarchy takes courage. And if you saw the Barbie movie, it also takes a lot of friends supporting you along the way!
In the world of job hunting, it can be so hard to make these courageous decisions. When you’ve been looking for a new role for a while, it can be hard to keep focussed on the things that really matter to you. You need money, you need a job, and my goodness you need to stop staring at the pigeons in your garden. Your emotions have been on a rollercoaster ride, and you’ve got that familiar feeling of queesy-ness coming back to you. Anxieties and doubts fill your mind, will I ever get a job? Am I qualified? Have I got anything valuable to offer? Would I hire me? Or maybe, am I better off becoming the pigeon lady from Home Alone 2?
Once you’ve logically worked through the pro’s and con’s, and realised that you are capable and actually qualify for a lot of things (and don’t like pigeons that much), then is the time to go for it and spend time feeling the feels. To find that place full of you, and remind yourself of what holds importance in your heart. To not get distracted by other people’s goals, aspirations or choices, and to find where your ‘cor’ wants to take you.
This is the time to smash through that scream-inducing statistic that propelled me into writing this.
‘Have courage dear heart’ was the whisper from Aslan to Lucy (love a Narnian throwback) and this is what I hope for me, for you, for all of us.
It's hard to make heart decisions.
These Women Work is a heart decision.
Courageous to the core.
It's gonna be a rollercoaster, but fingers crossed with a lot less vomit…
Susie XXXX
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Are you ready to ride? I am! Kat here and because the American in me wants to give you the feels AND a practical action — here are some top tips to help you JUST GO FOR It and hit apply (and experience the brief joy of smashing patriarchy).
Convince them you're capable and you will convince yourself too! Check out this Indeed article “10 Tips for Applying for a Job With Less Experience Than Required”
Focus on the STAR (Situation, Task, Action, Result) method to tell a clear story in your cover letter about how you could handle anything. Again, if you might impress yourself and it will certainly impress the hiring company who just wants someone to be able to get the job done at the end of the day. More from Harvard here.
Still struggling? Send the job description to your friend or previous co-worker or network and ask if they think you would be a good fit. If they are excited, translate what they say into your cover letter/resume. Women helping women or friends helping friends! Humble note here: this is what I had to do many times, send things to Susie and then she would hold me accountable for actually applying #accountabilibuddy